a few things

1. Daring to be real

Recently i've made a decision to do something about me. doin me, looking out for myself.
i made a personal goal to become more confident. in a sense that i can go out in the world and carry myself with pride about who i am and just fuck the haters and what they think, cos this is me and there's no reason in this world to why i should be ashamed of it. if u dont like it so be it.

not cocky tho...there's a difference between the two just to get that straight.
there's a difference between bein up yourself and being proud of urself.

if ur confident and it shows u dont need to tell ppl ur the shit, cos they'll know, by ur presence ur aura n thats the kinda respect i want. not so much ppl think i'm the shit (wudnt mind tho, ha!). but just having people seeing who i am and loving it.

Before i was prolly more cocky than confident. sometimes in a dickhead way, but usually in a humorous way so wasnt tooo bad. but the thing that i was annoyed most about myself was that i wasnt true to myself. i didnt keep it real, didnt tell it how it was, beating around the bush.
I was too scared, too self concious, too neurotic about what ppls perceptions were. Sometimes i'd find myself just telling ppl just what they wanna hear cos i'd be too scared i'd get teared up if i said what i really think.
but whhooo giivess a shiiiittt. from now on, i'm keepin it real, if it goes wrong like on the chappelle show, so be it, its what i think, why should i be ashamed of my personal opinion and views you know, i'd rather be hated for who i am than for someone i'm not or some u want me to be. Bare in mind tho, u gotta keep in line, somethings are better off left unsaid. if there's something that if i kept it real would offend some1 then i'll close my mouth, i'm not talking Kanye West at the VMA's keep it real, i'm just talking like "i wanna be confident about who i am" keeping it real haha.

Self-Awareness and Confidence

why wait for the new year for a resolution.


2. DON'T EVER MEET UP WITH A PERSON UR INTERESTED IN, IF THE ENVIRONMENT OR NATURE OF IT IS OUT OF UR ELEMENT...EVER!!!

SERIOUSLY, worst decision u could ever make.

will fuck it up for u
make u look like a douche
they'll think "wtf did u come"

it happened to me just recently

this girl i'm kinda sussing out, kinda interested in, her best friend was havin her bday and she was wondering if i wanted to come. at first i thought a couple of my buddies wudv come along but they didnt (i dont think it wudv helped much anyway) so i ended up goin alone. So i went there NOT THINKING...BY MYSELF....(i'm such an asshole for goin) anyway i got there i've met some of her friends b4 but never really spoken to them so it was awkward already, but i said hi to her and her friends, and in the keepin it real fashion i told the girl she looked hott, she said thank you and we carried on to the dance floor.

now as a lil sidenote: pretty much each time i've gone to the club with this girl i've been the dude she's danced with, no matter if there was another dude there she was with me.

so we got to the dance floor she introduced me to a guy friend of hers, he was a lot shorter and a lot smaller than me. so i was like meh he's got nothing on me. now when he got to dancing, of corz naturally, because of past experiences i expected her to come dance with me, but she didnt. she danced with this short small dude that was wearing a v-neck bonds undershirt...and she was like having her leg between his and his leg between hers, i was like damn she never danced like that with me b4. so i went n got something to drink try to get a lil faded so i wudnt think about it so much. like so what she's dancing with sum other dude, i thought i'd try to find me a hoe of my own to dance with...but i cudnt find anyone....it was full of white ugly chicks or girls that were like late 20s or some shit. n then they decided to go to another club. I shouldv went home, but i thought it was kinda rude to just bail so i went to the other club and same thing happened there she started dancing on the dude and her other 2 friends left to buy drinks so it was just the 3 of us there so i was like fuuuck that i'm not being 3 wheel i'm getting the fuck out. so i didnt say gbye i just left and never looked back. i'm glad i did BUT i really shudnt have gone in the first place.

she obviously isnt in to me, i thought she was a lil but now i know she's not, i mean even if i didnt go she wudv still danced up that dude. sooo i'm dooonee with her for like the 3rd time haha
but like she was saying wassup to me after she broke up with her bf so naturally i was like damn if she wants me on the rebound i'll take it =P cos i used to hve crzy feelings for her but since then i've grown brains and have learnt to think with my head not with my heart. cos i'm too young to get caught up with 1 girl.

big ups to the dude tho haha, i wanted to dance with her, but i'm not one to cockblock XD.

which leads to no.3 DONT GET EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE UR NOT SURE LIKES U BACK

basically once u find out they dont feel they way about u they way u want them to it hurts, a lot. and sometimes it can take a long time to recover. it fades n blurs ur judgement, and guys it turns u to the nice guy which take u to the friend zone which sux. u start to over analyse stuff and having these expectations that will just end up in disappointment. it shouldnt be that hard and stressful, if u like sum1 be real and be urself, tell them straight up, "i like u, lets go out". if its meant to be they'll say yes. its that simple

Be real with ur self, understand that its possible that they dont like u, and u have to be able to accept that when u find out. if it does turn out that way dw, if it wasnt meant to be then it wasnt meant to be. move on and ur time will come. focus on u cos u are ur biggest investment. dont waste time on tissues and chick flicks wondering why they dont like u back and think its the end of the world. if they dont like u for who u are, they dont deserve you, move on so u can find sum1 that does.