did you listen or just hear me?

There's a difference between the two.

When someone says they heard something they don't always know exactly what it was..

"I heard a sound"

"What was it?"

"I don't know"

It's a sound you heard it but you didnt understand wtf it was.

When you listen, things become clearer, you start to understand.

Understanding is important, because empathy is important. When people speak there are emotions and thoughts that are trying to communicate with you. Words without meaning are nothing, but the words will always have meaning. It's up to you whether you hear, or you listen.

i'm back

i'm on track ;)

just a thought..

When you really want something, like really want something, something you've been wanting for a long time. You work hard for it, and you're patient. You'll do what needs to be done to get it. You try to get it and you fail, not once but numerous times. Your desire is still strong though. So you work harder and you stay persistent.

You finally get it. You tell yourself you're going to cherish it, treat it right.

Some of us stay true to this, you appreciate what you've earned and you continue to work hard to maintain what you have because you don't know how long its going to be there for.

On the other had, some of us, most of us take it for granted, content with what you've achieved, with the mentality that what you've done is enough. You get lazy, what you have becomes damaged, tired and worn out. Before you know it, it's gone, and you're sitting there alone, back where you started, wondering "what did i do?". And the simple answer is... nothing

You did nothing. So you get nothing.

You get what you give.

Don't just work hard to achieve it, work hard to keep it.

UPDATE! Let's do this!

Farrrrkkk its been a while since i've done this huh!

okay so here's the update

- Am I on top of uni work???

Well i'm changing my major....and i wanna withdraw ASAP..so no

- Do I have a well balanced social life...well i have a girlfriend now =D which is awesome.
been spending a lot of time with her though...I mean at the start it was good but hmm..

- Saving moneys? nope...waiting for some pay to come in then i should be okay...i hope

- Read more books? noooooo havent even tried

- Clean my room - its not too bad now =)

Honestly I've kinda regressed to my chode ways.....

Kinda self-loathing, depressing etc etc.....

I havent been to the gym in a while either....

Been pretty stressed lately =/ just with uni and work and having a girlfriend and trying to hang out with the boys.

Its really no-ones fault but my own...i can't seem to rationalise what's good for me in the long run.

I need to find some structure in my life.

I don't like myself at the moment.

I was watching "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and I see a lot of myself in Peter Brenner. I remember when she said "I was tired of looking after you, when you wouldn't look after yourself".

It seems like, now, that i have a girlfriend i just become so complaisant with every other part of my life. Which is REALLY bad. I don't want my girlfriend looking after me! makes me a bad boyfriend. It's not manly at all, I want to be looking after her.

What am dealing with at the moment?

Stress with juggling Uni and work.
Still not used to having a Step mum.
Which makes me miss my mum.
And financially i'm not as well off as i used to be....

thinking about it makes me feel crap.

My girlfriend bought me an Emporio Armani watch cos she wanted to make me feel better.
which was nice, its was the watch i've been eyeing for a while =).
It made me smile, but short lived, you know....love her for trying though =)

once i'm withdrawn from the course should be better, 1 less thing to worry about, once i start working more hours, financially i should be fine so 2 less things to worry about =).

need to hit the gym hard. my gym buddy is coming back from the philippines so i'm looking forward to that =).

hopefully i'll be okay =)

okay okay okay

I need my list back!

I feel like i'm regressing to old habits and it feels yuuuccckkk.

1. Get on top of University Work.
Seriously....Seriously
I think I'll assign a time during the week where i have to buckle down and do the shit! even if its only a couple hours.

2. Have a well balanced social life. Go out n be the shit, meet new people, make new friends, aquaintences and maybe some girls haha ;]

3. Save moneys. Probably go to free clubs if i go out and maybe entrance fee clubs every second time I go out. Eat home cooked meals haha. shizz like that maybe.

4. Read more books! expand my knowledge.

5. Clean my room...yeah...pridday rank in there.

that's all for now...

Do this...

Look at yourself totally objectively, physically, emotionally and mentally.

What do you see?

SCRAAAP the list

all i wanna do is just live...LIVE

Life is good.

Very pleased with my progress into becoming the best me =)

not there yet, but farrk i can feel it =)

i find it amusing

When people are talking to you and they throw out ambiguous/vague statements that lead you to ask them about it.

The amusing part is that they usually do it on purpose cos they want you to ask them about it. That way it's not percieved as bragging because YOU asked them about it, or they want some kind of sympathy. Point is they fish for a response.

Common example is facebook statuses, people that have there status as "6 days left" or something so you ask "6 days till what?" they say "till something EPIC happens that's so much better that whatever you've got planned in 6 days".

Or "had enough, i'm over it" so you ask "over what?" they say "sook, sook, whinge, whinge, emo, emo, sook, sook, whinge, whinge" .

Get it?

lil pet peev of mine i guess..=/

but i admit i've probably done it a couple times before... =P

I went to Philippines and Malaysia yo!

and it was great!

I actually go to do stuff other than shopping and meeting family.

- I got to drive in Malaysia which was pretty cool and frightening at the same time.
- Since our hotel was linked to a mall i was able to explore on my own without the fear of getting lost in a foreign country haha.
- In the mall there were numerous fast-food joints that i hadn't tried...i tried them all haha. California Pizza Kitchen, Popeyes, Carl's Jr, TGI Fridays to name a few.
- Philippines i got to fire a bunch of guns, at inanimate objects, which was fun, apparrently my shot is pretty good =D
- I also got to enjoy the nightlife in Zamboanga, went clubbing with my cousins and had my first red horse experience and i got lucky that night too haha. Anastasia was her name and she could daaanncee. We even did the cha-cha in the club. Definitely a night i'll put in my history books haha.

Probably the best trip overseas EVAR.

NOW i'm back in Australia...and it's a wierd feeling. I've been trying to get back into the swing of things and its just not working for me.

I'm unfit, i couldnt even do 2 sets of chin ups at the gym.
I lost some game. Went to the club and felt shy as hell.
My mind isnt all there. I find myself saying things that don't make much sense.

I blame it on the trip..I'm gonna call it Behavioural Travel Regression Syndrome (BTRS for short).
It's when you go away to another place for an extended period of time and in that time, because you're not in a place of familiarity and are forced to change and adapt to a new lifestyle completely different to what you had at home, your behavioural level regresses as each day passes by without each quality of you fails to be practiced and you forget. Statistics say you forget 80% of what you've learnt each day. Each day you learn to adapt to your new environment you forget part of the knowledge you once had.

The way i've decided to overcome this is to create a checklist for 2010.
That way i have direction.